Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
