I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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