shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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