We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
