He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
