You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
