holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Enjoy the penises
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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