Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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