he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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