Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have grass duct taped all over my body
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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