I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
