I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
