I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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