the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
