I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
