It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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