well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
