i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
