Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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