Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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