dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
