I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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