What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
What a dumb baby whore.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I need water and some morals
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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