I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
