when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
