I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
