my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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