i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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