i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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