i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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