Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
