so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
