Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
