I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I had to cum in my sink.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
