A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
