Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
