I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
