so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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