My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
