How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
third nipple confirmed
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
