We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
