I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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