i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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