just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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