In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
