Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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