"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
