Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
