hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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