...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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