my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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